[Intro]
You fucking grou...
Pick up the goddamn phone
[Verse 1]
Bitch, where the fuck were you Tuesday
With who you say
I wasn't at the studio bitch
What'cha do screw Dre
You went there looking for me
Boo, that excuse is too lame
Keep playing me you're gonna end up with a huge goose egg
You fake, lying slut you never told me you knew Drake
And Lupe, you want to lose two legs
You try to flip this on me
If I spent more time with you
You say "okay yeah, I'm cuckoo, hey?"
Well, screw you
And I’d be the third person who screwed you today
Oh, four; Dre, Drake, Lupe -- ooo touché
You were too two-faced for me
Thought you was my number one, true-blue ace but you ain't
And I can see you and you make that little boo-boo face
Cause I'm hanging up this phone boo
You make my fucking Bluetooth ache
You feeling blue too late, go smurf yourself
You make me wanna smurfin' puke blue Kool Aid
Here's what you say to someone you hate
[Hook]
My life will be so much better
If you just dropped dead
I was laying in bed last night thinking
And this thought just popped in my head
And I thought, wouldn't shit just be a lot easier
If you dropped dead
I would feel so much better
[Verse 2]
Think I just relapsed, this bitch pushed me over the brink
Hop on the freeway tryna get some time alone and just think
Then the cops pulled me over but they let me go
Cause I told 'em I'm only driving drunk, cause that bitch drove me to drink
I'm back on my fuck hoes, but a whole new hatred for blondes
But bias? I hate all bitches the same, baby come on
Excuse the pun but bitch is such a broad statement
And I am channeling my anger through every single station it's on
Cause a woman broke my he-art, I say he-art
Cause you ripped it in two pa-arts, and threw it in the garbage
Who do you think you are, bitch
Guess it's time for me to get the dust off and pick myself up off the carpet
But I'll never say the L-word again, I L-L-L-L... Lesbian
Ahh, I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest
My life would be so much better if you just
[Hook]
[Bridge]
Cause you told me, you love me, forever, bitch, that was a lie
Now I never, wanted someone, to die, so bad in my fucking life
But fuck it, there’s other fish in the sea
[Verse 3]
And I'mma have a whale of a time
Being a single sailor for the night
Bitch on a scale of, 1 to 10
Shit, I must be the holy grail of, catches
Ho, I got an Oscar attached to my fucking name, de la
I might hit the club, find a chick that's tailor made for me
Say fuck it, kick some shots back, get hammered and nail her
These bitches tryna get attached but they're failing to latch onto the tail
Of my bumper they're scratching at the back of my trailer like I'm itching to get hitched
Yeah, I'm rich as a bitch
But bitches ain't shit, I'd rather leave a bitch in a ditch
Bitch you complain when you listen to this
But you still throw yourself at me
That's what I call pitchin' a bitch
That's why I'm swinging at this chicks on sight
Long as I got a bat and two balls it's foul, but my dick's on strike
So all that love shit is null and void, bitch I'm a droid
I avoid Cupid, stupid wasn't for blowjobs you'd be unemployed
Oi-oi-oi, man oh man, your boy-boy-boy's getting sick of these girls-girls-girls
Oink-oink-oink, you fuckin' pigs, all you're good for is doink-doink-doink
"I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one"
She's all 99 of 'em; I need a machine gun
I take 'em all out; I hope you hear this song and go into a cardiac arrest
Have a heart attack and just drop dead
And I'mma throw a fucking party after this, cause YES
[Hook]
[Outro]
I'm just playing bitch, you know I love you