Video Zange Mairi (English Cover)【JubyPhonic】懺悔参り

Even god gets lonely

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I know it’s Easter and I know it’s also April Fool’s day but this cover has nothing to do with those things, sorry. Maybe the prank is that I’m serious for once lol.

Lately, I’ve been in love Hanyuu Maigo’s music and really wanted to cover this song specifically. While I often keep this description section as partly a journal for myself, I don’t usually get into deep and personal matters in great detail. I think that letting others know weakness is hard and people find it off-putting but I’ve never been one for self preservation anyway.

So trying not give away too much from my private life, I’ve been struggling since last year but especially this past month with SSRIs (depression/anxiety medication). The side effects of mine were becoming too much and I decided to stop abruptly so I could confirm something within me. This was a bad move. The first week was hard as I thought but by the third week, it was unbearable. I couldn’t eat anything for nine days and found myself unhinged, barely managing each hour between nausea and emotional trauma. I desperately tried to hold out as long as I could so that I could be done with the drug and find my way to a different one with less side effects, but ultimately I couldn’t. The month of suffering was for nothing in the end as I started taking it again (mostly to be able to eat food). By now, you’re probably wondering why I’m talking about this, well, I wanna share this experience in hopes someone else needs to know they’re not suffering alone. Because I felt that way. I felt like god was playing some ironic game in which my desire for simple things would result in failure and agony, telling me it’s better to give up. But even if there is a god, I don’t think he’s playing a game. He may not even have the power to do anything.

All in all, I’m trying to come to terms with my situation and singing and writing helps. I’m not particularly looking for advice, just a moment of personal clarity. That’d be nice.

ORIGINAL CREDITS:
✦ Music & Lyrics: Hanyuu Maigo
✦ Movie: 瀬川あをじ
✦ Translation: Serene_Snowfall
✦ Original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wM4phGebR4o

COVER CREDITS:
✦ Vocals/English Lyrics/Mix/Subs: Juby

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--------LYRICS————
Once again, watching the city pass at no end

Painful or pleasure, they’re fighting with their head

Blooming plenty, from here at hell’s ending

Envy, envy, envy the mass frenzy

Don’t, oh no don’t, oh please never ever pray to me

Don’t wish to god, oh please don’t wish for anything

Truth is I’m helpless and can’t do a thing

With only a charm faked for kid’s fantasy

Upside down the Jizo goes

And even god, oh yes even god oh

Gets sad and lonely at night and so

Can you forgive me? Can you forgive me?

I am to blame, yes for everything

Once again, watching the city still the same then

Pray quietly under the ocean bed

“Goodbye” and hear “let’s meet again my dear”

On and on and always I will be waiting here

Don’t, oh no don’t, oh please never ever lose your way

Don’t search in vain, and I say this for your own sake

Cry in the face of the great laughing gate

Ignore any voice calling for you to stray

And you’ll be safe

And even god, oh yes even god oh

Can’t see the future or what it holds

Though you may fall down, feel like you might drown

You mustn’t come to this underground

You still can make it there in time, if you let go and fly

No, I’m not lonely, I’m just fine

Everything should be quite alright

Let’s say goodbye

The veil crumbling tonight, as the thought came to me

Who am I living for? And see

When was it I began to

Watch this human’s dream?

And even god, oh yes even god oh

Wishes to talk with you too and so

Though very small, I hope that you may try

Hear this repentance of mine

But now I beg, no don’t ever let go

I’ll do whatever it takes and so

Every dream in you, for your dreams I’ll soon

Do what I can so they all come true

For me and you

Hey, were we smiling stupidly?

You think?